Just Say Gobby

Spider Man 96-99.
The "drug" issues.  The ones the CCA wouldn't stamp for approval - so Stan published `em anyway.
Actually, I don't care all that much about that.  Let's really look at the story.

This was (again), the return of the Green Goblin.  It is not the best or most important Gobby story, but it sets the stage for their next, and final showdown.  It was his first appearance since the short-lived Spectacular Spider-Man two years prior.  Two years later would come his grand finale in 121-122.

Pete's back from London, where he'd gone hoping (and failing) to find on-the-run g/f Gwen.  All he's got are some photos of Spidey in action across the pond, which he peddles to the Bugle as per usual.  Then roommate Harry presses him to take the long-offered job at dad Norm, aka the Green Goblin's, company.  Pete is understandably iffy about working for a sometime-homicidal maniac who wants to kill him, and knows his secret identity to boot.  Does seem kind a logical, don't it?  But, hoping to make some dough to build a future for him and Gwen, he relents.  Friendly Norm (who's forgotten all about being the Goblin, Spidey, et al) happily hires him.

Okay, so the boss is a homicidal maniac ... this is different from other jobs how..?

After rescuing a kid who's trying to fly under the influence of LSD, we get an embarrassing if well-meant bit of black power anger from Randy Robertson, which sets off poor Norm.  Uh oh.  More uh-oh, that tramp MJ is flirting with Pete right in front of Harry - the minx!!

Yeah, come on - Norman knows where it's at - just look at him!

Final uh-oh; something about a door nearby catches Norm's attention and has a weird effect on him.  When Pete as Spidey follows him later, he gets a rude surprise:

Peeking at Norm while he's changing - for shame, Spidey!

Next we're treated to another Spidey/Gobby punch-out, with the usual "I wasn't expecting THAT weapon!" and "What do I do - I can't hurt him - but he knows my secret identity" tropes, until Gobby finally knocks Spidey for a loop that looks fatal.  Being an idiot as usual, rather than confirm his arch-foe's death, Gobby flies off to do nasty stuff someplace else.

Tonight on "World's Dumbest Supervillains"

Pete makes his way back to his apartment to gather his wits and plan.  There he finds Harry pissed off and popping pills - something he's apparently been doing for awhile now; he's gotten close to a drug dealer near the college (the drug dealer is played by Rip Taylor).  Peter fruitlessly searches for Obsborn, foolishly letting on that he's still alive in the process.  He returns home to find Harry higher than a kite - and he's being watched...

Wouldn't Pete's spider-sense have --- oh, never mind...

However, the sight of Harry in a coma startles and confuses Gobby, who flies off, leaving Peter to rush his stoned roommate to the hospital.

Meanwhile, back in London, Gwen can't forget the boy back home...

Hey, Gil Kane drew a seriously cute Gwen Stacy!

Pete has a little run-in with Rip Taylor and his gang...

Then it's back to scouring the city for Gobby, who finds our hero in no time.

Gobby douses the S-man with a hallucinogenic gas which also somehow neutralizes his powers.  After some scrambling, Pete has one of his brainstorms, and jumps Gobby, forcing him to fly to the hospital where the sight of his son in a coma again pushes Norm into a full breakdown, kicking him into another amnesiac state and thus ending the Gobby menace ... for now....

If it was that simple...

Heading back for his pad, Pete gets another surprise - and, for a change, a nice one!

Reunited with Gwen, back at the Bugle, a newly-empowered Pete finally puts the squeeze on Jonah.

Continuing the trend of social-consciousness, a prison riot turns into a debate on prisoner's rights and humanitarian incarceration.  Continuing the trend of dumbness, it's all a ploy.

Prison riot quelled, Spidey zips off, has a brief encounter re: appearing on a TV show (this has proven disastrous in the past, but what the hell, right?), makes a speech about prison conditions, and ends up running from the cops.  But back home, Gwen's cooked them dinner...

This story is typical late Stan-era Marvel at its best and worst.  Read from an adult perspective, the plot holes are epic.  Why the hell hasn't Pete at least tried to get some grasp of psychology to try to figure out how to handle Norm's insanity long-term?  Or found a better solution?  Or just unmasked him and dragged him to the cops, who, confronted by a raving lunatic and murderer (or at least wanna-be murderer), could probably be convinced pretty easy that anything he said about Spidey's secret identity was just more lunatic ravings?  Why has Pete never had any contingency plan for dealing with Gobby after all these years?  Why are both of them so careless in their dealings with each other - Gobby never ensuring Spidey's dead, Spidey never seeming to do anything but react to whatever Gobby's up to.  And why is it even though Norm hasn't been Gobby for awhile, no sooner does he put on the costume than he's got new weapons?

The drug references are mostly too melodramatic (of course) but aren't completely stupid, and are certainly well-intentioned, as is the prison-riot plot.

As a Goblin story, it's pretty anticlimactic - almost a rehash of Spectacular Spider Man.  Still, the good points: fantastic Gil Kane art (I think Kane was even better on Spidey than Romita, in this period).  And, the soap opera - Marvel/Stan/etc really had that element down cold in this era, keeping the backstory moving without ever letting it get in the way of the action.

Kane's wild perspectives and night-time city-scapes evoke the Ditko days, and Gobby really seems deranged...

Characterization was strong, too.  There was a real effort being made at this time to humanize JJJ; to show that, even if he was an asshole, he had a not insignificant good side.  This interlude with Jonah is one of the best.

At this point, Marvel was something of a victim of its own success.  Read the earlier Goblin stories and you're set up to expect something special here.  What you get is routine and anti-climactic.  The major problem is: the Goblin really doesn't do anything.  He shows up, attacks Spidey, flies away, comes back, attacks him again, gets tricked back into amnesia.

Stepping out of geek-mode, its easy enough to recall that they weren't attempting to produce brilliant comics that surprised readers with their sophistication - they were just trying to get something on the racks every month.  The brilliance came by accident.  But its a shame that Stan or Gil or whoever didn't take a little more time to plan this out, to make the Gob's reappearance something really special.  It would take Gerry Conway to do that a couple years later...

Kona - Monarch of Cultural Imperialism!

Well, hello kiddies.  For today's walk down memory lane, I figured we'd take a look at Kona - Monarch of Monster Isle, Dell's early 60's ode to dinosuars, cavemen, and cultural imperialism.  See, me and Kona go way back.  One of the first comics I ever latched onto back in the day was a copy of issue 17 (incidentally, the series last ish), which grabbed my 4 year-old mind quite hard, given that it was full of - DINOSAURS (hmmna-hmmna)!

Anyway, it was many years (say, 40+) before I finally saw another issue of Kona -which is not exactly a sought-after masterpiece.  But now, having the whole run, I think it's worth a look.

Some back story: Kona was launched by Dell comics after their early-60's split with Western Publishing (which put its titles out under the Gold Key imprint from then on) left them with little - well, I suppose next to nothing - in the valuable properties department (Gold Key had run off with Disney, Hanna-Barbera, Warner Brothers, Turok Son of Stone, Brothers Of The Spear, etc).  They quickly launched about a half-dozen titles, all now long-forgotten.  Kona is pretty much forgotten, too - but it was, amazingly, their biggest hit.

Glad they got their priorities straight, at least!

While on their way to Australia to study "strange markings used by the prehistoric bushmen" for possible use in an "intra-satellite code system" AND in alien contact (well, at least all the bases are covered), Dr. Dodd (apparently his first name is "Dr."), his daughter Mary and grandchildren Mason (a young teen) and Lily (a squirt) are flying over the ocean in a dirigible(!?!?!).  Lily and Mason, never having apparently read so much as a National Geographic article on Australian natives, are overly concerned about what they may encounter - but not to worry - Doc Dodd has brought along a small arsenal of weaponry to protect them. Mary is busy being traumatized over her husband's death by alligator in Africa.

A storm crashes them on an isolated island (Segall had apparently been reading his Edgar Rice Burroughs, or Jules Verne, at least - but why in the hell are the flying in a blimp?).  Dodd manages to rescue kids, food, medical supplies and (most importantly) guns.  They make their way to a cave where Mary is chased by giant bats (soon dispatched by the deadly Dr. Dodd) (Mary, incidentally, never does much of anything but run around and scream - her daughter is apparently considerably more resourceful).  A sudden flash flood fills the cave and helpfully washes both the family and their supplies (don't lose those guns!) out into a "mysterious" valley (Dr. Dodd demonstrates his scientific genius by identifying the valley as "mysterious" and "not natural" - what is he a doctor of, anyway?) where they are immediately attacked by a crudely drawn tyrannosaurus rex, which itself is quickly attacked by a mob of primitive men the brilliant Dr. Dodd immediately identifies as neanderthals.  They are led by a taller, white-haired dude name Kona, who is identified by caption as "monarch of Monster Isle."  The rex is suddenly attacked by a giant snake, which kills it, only to be suddenly attacked by another mob of primitive men - these identified as pithecanthropus again by the doc.  It seems the piths train tyrannosaurs as pets(!) and terrorize the weaker neanderthals.  The piths behead the snake (the comic is surprisingly gory for a Dell comic, especially) and take off, leaving Dodd and family to (of course) make friends with the neanderthals and Kona.

This guy's a scientist?

Led back to their village (the neanderthals keep triceratops as pets - neat!) Dr. Dodd immediately begins attempting to lead the hapless primitives down the rosy path to civilization.  First priority: teach them to use guns!

Dr. Dodd explains Cold War political theory to the neanderthals

Intimidated by their gun-totin' prowess, the pith tribe makes a pre-emptive strike, attacking the village in full t.rex-aided glory (a caption points out that the rex are evil, by the way.  Who knew dinosaurs had morals?) grabbing Mary (of course) in a King Kong-esque move.  During this battle, Doc Dodd experiences a revelation...

The first time?  Ever?  Damn!

But quickly the brave Dodd family is back in action, guns blazing.  Even Lily's in on the action!

The Palin family's prehistoric vacation

Only after they've grenaded the rex's and begun a wholesale slaughter of the pith tribe does Dodd begin to have some second thoughts...

Neanderthals with machine guns.  Now he figures it out!

Well, y'know - it had dinosaurs, like I said.

Kona was written (allegedly - the stories are unsigned) by Don Segall, who seems to have been pretty much a workman-like comics writer of no particular distinction (he's credited with DC's first Creeper appearance, but there's little doubt Steve Ditko is the driving force behind all things Creeper.  In case you don't know the Creeper, we'll talk about him another time) and drawn (again allegedly) by Sam Glanzman, a good solid artist who's still working as far as I know (he did the Apple Jack webcomic 10 years ago - you can see it here).  Unfortunately, Kona isn't exactly a credit to either of them.  Glanzman's artwork is rushed and sloppy, and he isn't much at drawing dinos, though some of the battle scenes have a certain sense of drive and power.

The script by Segall is the real weak point - utterly lacking in logic. Why, again, a dirigible?  Wouldn't a plane have done just fine?  Why kidnap Mary vs. just massacring the entire tribe?  Since pithecanthropus and neanderthals are two different species for chrissakes, so what use they would have for her is questionable (then again, what use anyone would have for her is questionable).  Dodd is supposed to be a scientist but displays the intellect of a clod (valleys are mysterious?).

Dr. Dodd blesses his granddaughter with his profound insights into cultural anthropology

Still, the worst thing about Segall's script isn't it's sheer dumbness but the truly jaw-dropping cultural arrogance - look, I know it was 1962, but shee-it, Dodd (again, allegedly an educated man) apparently can't conceive of such a thing as a "primitive" culture.  Apparently he never heard of the prime directive (or common sense). Even more absurd is an attitude towards firepower that would make Ted Nugent blush.

You'll have to pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

I don't know if Segall really believed any of what he wrote, or (just as likely) he didn't care enough to think anything through.  Regardless, its embarrassing.  Stan Lee may have had (plenty) of moan-inducing moments, but even his most absurd scripts were rarely this bad.

So, one issue down - we'll see what Kona has to offer going forward.  I know it got better by #17, anyway!